Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
