i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
