You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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