I think i peed on brittanys purse
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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