Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
