why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
