no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I AM VODKA MAN
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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