used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
