4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize