Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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