I'm gonna have a badass scar
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
