we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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