How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
