I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
