Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
