Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Your cock deserves a montage
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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