yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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