Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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