Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
