so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
