I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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