God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
