If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize