Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize