Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
