no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
