Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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