Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
