what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
