Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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