The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
