I hate all girls vehemently.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
