Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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