I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
