I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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