Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
