That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
