I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
