At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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