What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
