Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
