So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
