id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
