I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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