I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
