Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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