well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
