I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
