Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize