I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
