just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
