You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
