Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
