I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
