i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize