Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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