Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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