If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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