Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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