i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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