Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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