If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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